


equilibrium

by usoverlooked



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usoverlooked/pseuds/usoverlooked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you don’t think I should get my psych degree?” Britta asks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	equilibrium

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't watched tonight's episode, but regardless this takes place between 5.02 and 5.03. I really disliked Jeff's line about "we can all change Britta's mind together!! LOL TEAM WORK!" so whatever. For Kate, as usual.

“So you don’t think I should get my psych degree?” Britta asks, careful to leave out the _again_ at the end of it. Because she knows the question is truly, you don’t think I can do it, just like you used to when you sat next to me and still a million miles away. She wonders if he knows it, watches as he freezes for a moment before continuing to pilfer through the file cabinet.

“I thought you said you didn’t listen to my Winger speeches,” he says. Britta rolls her eyes, wants to jab him in the chest and call him a lawyer, but it isn’t an insult or a tease anymore. It’s just a fact now.

“This time I did,” Britta says. Jeff continues to move through the filing cabinet, pulling out a folder and reading it. Britta drops a hand onto the folder and he looks up at her. “Jeff, do you?”

“Britta,” Jeff says, then lets out a breath. He slides the folder out from under her hand and tucks it under his arm, expression muddled in thought. Britta waits until he shuts the file cabinet’s drawer. He leans one shoulder against it, looking at her for a long moment before he opens his mouth. “I don’t want you to take any of this the wrong way.”

Britta flinches at that, the dismissal of it all. The petty part of her wants to remind him who she is – not some school girl who can’t handle a minus, but a woman with armor built from thirty years of people telling her to stop trying. Instead, she crosses her arms and nods.

“I think that there’s a lot of schooling that goes into it and I think that schooling is hard for you,” Jeff says and his tone is careful, like he fears she might spook. She remains mute at the end of the statement because it feels unfinished. He sighs. “But, I think you’d make a really good psychiatrist, one of the best. I just don’t know if you can get from here to there, that’s all I meant the other day.”

“I can do it,” Britta says, in a harsh whisper. Jeff blinks at her, at the statement, before nodding slowly.

“I know, I just think that it’ll be hard. Maybe you deserve to have something that you don’t have to fight for like that,” Jeff says. It’s dangerously close to a Winger speech and Britta knows if there’s more there. A whole Winger speech for her that he’s holding back because she teases him for it.

“Sometimes I think I should fight more for things I want,” Britta say. She looks down at her hands, suddenly overwhelmed by his face and how well she knows it. “I mean, the things I want for myself, sometimes I think I deserve the things worth fighting for.”

The moment, the words, expand in that small office. Britta can feel the weight of them and she’s reminded of a crown and three words she spit at him like a weapon. There’s something different this time, an evenness to it, she thinks as Jeff leans up from the file cabinet, eyes roaming her face.

“Maybe you should too,” Britta says, a whispered dare.

“Britta,” he breathes the word out and it feels almost like an apology. Something in that stings her, breaks the spell of it all and she shakes her head.

“That’s selfish though and Shirley says my biggest virtue is my selflessness, so,” she says, trailing off with a shaky laugh. She steps back. “But thanks, for actually answering my question.”

“I think you should,” Jeff says, the words chasing her as she turns for the door. Britta freezes at it. She turns, looks at him.

“You should too,” Britta says. Jeff swallows at the challenge.

“I mean, if you get any sort of psych degree you could totally steal Duncan’s spot here if nothing else,” Jeff says, as if she had said nothing at all. He picks up the file again, flipping through the papers in it.

 Britta nearly calls him on it, nearly tells him that she knows he didn’t mean that, didn’t mean just that at least. Instead she huffs out a laugh. “C’mon, Winger, you really think I’m lame enough to teach in this place?”

Jeff’s smirk grows into an actual grin at the jibe and Britta grins back. The door flies open and Britta hears Annie stammering behind her.

“Don’t worry Annie, I’m on my way out,” Britta says, picking her bag off the desk and walking to the door. Annie smiles at her as Britta brushes past her. Britta returns the smile, though it’s strained and she wonders if the younger girl will notice.

As the door shuts, Britta can hear Annie starting in on some mystery, some problem she needs Jeff to solve and Britta swallows at it. Looking down the hall, she spies Duncan with a cup of coffee. She hurries over to him.

“Hey,” Jeff calls and Britta spins to see him jogging to catch up to her. There’s a paper in his hand and when he reaches her, he shoves it at her. She takes it automatically, crumbling it in her hand as she does. Jeff winces at the sight of that. “Hickey keeps a list of the best classes – the ones grad schools actually sort of respect. Can’t hurt right?”

Part of Britta wants to shove it back at him, push against any handout or help. Instead she nods her thanks and keeps the paper. Jeff smiles down at her and Britta just looks back up at him.

“Isn’t Annie waiting for you?” Britta asks. The question comes out sharper than she meant and Britta thinks that may be the story of her whole life.

“Right,” Jeff says. He stands next to her for a moment, something he seems to want to puzzle out. Britta walks over to Duncan’s office before he can figure it out.

She listens to Jeff’s plodding footsteps and stays with her hand on the door. He opens his office and she can hear Annie - frantic or excited, Britta has trouble telling with her sometimes. Britta hears it fade as his door clicks shut. She takes a breath and swings open Duncan’s door.


End file.
